i don't know... i'm starting to question if all these is worth it... is it worth the effort...
this sem was a burnt out... seriously.. everyone's burnt not just me.
is it worth the effort to strive so hard to get the grades?
is my perception of the reality the truth or is it based on a cracked mirror of what i think it is?
sometimes i feel it's very trying.. it's like peeling an onion but it stings your eyes at the same time... so you cry while trying to get to the core.
somehow i feel much lighter at the start where everything was a no-brainer, everyday was just a cycle of study n sleep and my world was a lot more simpler.
A month ago, the Lord revealed to both Ivan and I, Tim’s struggle after service. (This took place after service when Ivan boomerang everyone in church.) As Ivan prophesy to Tim about his family situation, I was prompted by the Lord to pray for Tim and to bless Tim with spirit of unity in his household.(At that time, CKRM corporate prayer was also on unity in spirit.) So I ask God to let the same blessing that He has given to Ivan and I to flow into Tim n his wife, so that both his wife and him will flow together in the same spirit and so that both will flow together with the Holy Spirit, serve God together and that God will be center of their lives and family.Tim received this prayer as he desired it.
Matthew 7
Ask, Seek, Knock
7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
At that time, what was being revealed to us was that the primary cause of Tim’s family struggle is because there is a gap between Tim’s spiritual level and his wife. (It is the same cause between Mark and Sharmaine.)So we continued to pray for Tim’s family and to try to encourage and minister to Tim.
There was something which I’ve observed. God can only work when a person is willing. The reason why our prayers for Mark and Shar didn’t come to pass, (we prayed the exact same prayer for Mark ad Sharmaine) is because they are not open and willing to let God in. But as when I was reading Pastor Paul’s blog on the part,” We had tried every available avenue to pray, counsel and advise him. But he repeatedly told us that they had sought the Lord and that the Lord wanted his wife & children to be worshiping at another Church.” What God revealed to me was that He already knew the wife would be unwilling, and if she was unwilling, she will not eat the good of the land. Isaiah 1:19 If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land.
The Lord wants Tim and wife to both serve him with a willing and obedient heart.
Upon hearing that Tim left CKRM, both Ivan and I were grieved. When the details were releasd on Sunday, we were in shock, so we sought the Lord on what was happening. This is what was being revealed to us:
Monday 06/07/09 12.11am
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
i ask for confirmation anointing right now t be upon ivan n myself
more lord
lord confirm your will with us... that we should reach out to tim and encourage him to seek you?
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
i receive a yes
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
i receive a wait
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
mmmmm
dear...
did u get the time frame?
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
we should reach out to tim: wait
we should not reach out to tim: yes
no time frame
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
so right now can only leave tim alone?
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
lord confirm with us that we should leave tim alone
yes for time being
tim needs to settle down that's what i receive
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
understood...
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
let's ask god the next question
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
FATHER I ACCEPT UR WILL AND DECISION
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
if god is angry with tim
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
God are you angry with brother timothy?
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
If God is angry with Tim?
If God is not angry with Tim?
both no answer...
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
i cant feel much...
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
but when i ask if god is grieved... i received yes
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
God is sad...
but not angry
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
lord confirm with us... your judgment is not upon timonthy
is not upon tim
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
no... not judgement.. is sadness and a stage of remoulding
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
yes
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
tim will go up one level
sigh
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
wait i check
Lord... after this winter season.. tim will go 1 level higher
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
yes
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
yes
lord tim's anointing is not taken away from him
confirm
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
not taken
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
he is still anointed
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
just meantime low on annointing thts all
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
just frozen for time being that kind of feel
yah
cocoon
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
God has new plans to cater to him
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
yes
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
God loves him much and is going to bless him
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
lord confirm
u have plans for tim n wife to serve u together
ure going to bring them together
yes
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
i sense a yes...
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
husband n wife together
god answered our prayers
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
as a complete whole
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
when we ask for the same blessing in their life
so in the sense... god did intervene
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
praise god
lord confirm ckrm is not tim's final destination
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
ya...
not final
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
yes
same
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
good...
God answered our prayers
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
ask the lord what he wants us to do with tim
should we continue to pray for him n family
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
Father reveal to us your mighty plans
confirm that we should carry on praying for tim and his family
yes
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
i saw the word restoration
healing
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
he needs help later on
meantime i accept to leave him alone for now
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
ask the lord will we come into the picture later on for tim
yes
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
father
confirm
will we be entering into tim's life after he is done taking the break
ya... i sense yes... mainly because.. i also feel tht later on.. as we grow older.. we will have a alliance form with tim... i see revival
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
yes
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
but i maybe wrong
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
but i didn't receive revival
i just receive yes
but no time frame
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
ok...
maybe revival part is wrong
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
same...
just got the feel is when we are older
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
father lord
u have not told us to give up on tim
n since u have answered our prayers
that him n his wife will have the same blessing as ivan n i
lord i proclaim restoration n healing for their family
let broken ties be mend
husband n wife flow as unity with 1 spirit with ur holy spirit being center of their family
i praise u n thank u for your awesome work
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
yes father!
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
u're so awesome lord
in the way u led us
and i ask for your hand to guide tim back to u
strengthen him n wife in their faith n word
in u
n draw them both when they are ready into your purpose
lord u know of the struggles in their family
i lay all their burdens on the feet of jesus
i thank u lord for u mercy on all of our lives even though we do not deserve it
thank u lord
in jesus name i pray
amen
Hui Lian - heartbroken says:
i'm going to save down this confirmation n prayer for tim
n in the event we bring this issue up to the leaders and speak up for tim n we incur their wrath n if they say we disobedient... at least we can show them that we did seek god first. I don’t care what man thinks, I don’t serve man. I serve GOD!
-silver- - 24th of april.. =) eve n adam.. I WILL PRAY.. CAUSE GOD SAYS OK! says:
ya true
cause our confirmation difference in timing is less than 2 sec
mostly type out at same time
not something tht can be cheated
It is during our process of confirmation with the Lord that all these were being revealed to us. It was then that we realize God is doing a process of tearing down and rebuilding for Tim’s family. And yes Tim is entering into a major winter season; he needs to get a direction from God on how to handle things at home, because it is the Lord’s heartbeat for their entire household to serve Him together. This is a period of molding and restoration.
The interesting part about making choices in life is that there is no fixed road for us to travel from. Like for example, taking life to be an analogy to driving, when we drive from Bt Timah to Changi, and we make a wrong turn, we simply make a detour, take a longer way that’s all. If a man’s heart is still for God but when man makes a mistake, God can still restore, it doesn’t mean that they lose their calling permanently. Real life examples: Katherine Kulman, healing evangelist who fell in love with a divorced Christian, Todd Bently who previously burnt out and fell twice. So what is the lesson behind it? It is never to give up. When you fall, get up again! Bill Johnson’s grace n mercy to Todd Bently is something which we can all learn from, it is the same principle as the crowd wanting to stone the sexually immoral woman but Jesus offered her forgiveness and mercy when He intervene and said, “If any is without sin, let him be first to throw the stone!”
When we make wrong choices in life… it does not mean God gives up on us. God is always faithful and He is waiting. If Tim did not love God, he would not have confessed his sins to the 2 directors, there would be no need for such humility. Also looking at the 2 instances at why he still went back to God and asked for different anointing, tells us of Tim’s hunger for God. Since God already knew that Tim would make such a choice one day, why did God still give Tim all these anointing then? God only gives when He knows we really desire and hunger after it. If God knows that Tim won’t prioritize Him as number 1, God isn’t fooled and God won’t anoint Him because God knows of a man’s heart!
Inspect closer, the cry from Tim’s heart is simply this, ”Lord I can’t do this on my own anymore… if you’re not going to come through for me, I’m never going to make it…” What God wanted from Tim is simply this, “My son, depend on me… cry out to me your struggles… I have never forsaken you.”
God’s hand of intervention
Daniel suddenly called me on 4th of July, Sat, when I was having dinner with Caleb, Mark, Ivan, Joann, Diana. He thought I wanted to share something with him because he received an outdated msn on 24th June 2009, wed. Then I said I had already shared with him. So I asked him if he had received Ivan’s sms that we will not be meeting him. He told me he didn’t get the message. Upon that we found out that Ivan had sent the smses 3 times to the wrong number. Suddenly, I recall that Dan had wanted to know Ivan much better as a friend, so we agree to meet up later that night.
When we met up, we updated Dan that Tim left CKRM. Ivan and I both felt miserable as we saw it coming but we felt so helpless. It was there and then that Dan told us he was going to meet up with Tim soon.
So today 6th July, Mon, Ivan and I were talking about Tim needing more of God’s word on our way home from school. God suddenly pop the idea into my head to invite Tim to Dan’s bible interpretation. Daniel and I spoke on the phone and before I could ask him to help me confirm everything that I prayed for, this is what Daniel told me, ”I met up with Tim. He’s doing well. The anointing never left him. When we prayed together, the presence of God was so strong! And you know the wife was suffering spiritual drought and the moment Tim left CKRM, God lifted up the drought from her? Right now the Lord wants Tim to spend time at home and mend the relationship. Then both husband and wife together whole family will serve the Lord. Tim will not serve for the time being, until both husband n wife are ready.” WOW! God confirmed everything even before I can ask Dan to help me confirm what Ivan and I prayed for!!!!!!!!!! Now is not just 1 person serve God but 3 people!!! WHOLE FAMILY!!!! WOOTZ!!!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!
Weaknesses of a Sanguine The Extrovert | The Talker | The Optimist The Sanguine's Emotions
* Compulsive talker * Exaggerates and elaborates * Dwells on trivia * Can't remember names * Scares others off * Too happy for some * Has restless energy * Egotistical * Blusters and complains * Naive, gets taken in * Has loud voice and laugh * Controlled by circumstances * Gets angry easily * Seems phony to some * Never Grows Up
The Sanguine As A Parent
* Keeps home in a frenzy * Forgets children's appointments * disorganized * Doesn't listen to the whole story
The Sanguine At Work
* Would rather talk * forgets obligations * Doesn't follow through * Confidence fades fast * Undisciplined * Priorities out of order * Decides by feelings * Easily distracted * Wastes time talking
The Sanguine As a Friend
* Hates to be alone * Needs to be center stage * Wants to be popular * Looks for credit * dominates conversations * Interrupts and doesn't listen * answers for others * Fickle and forgetful * Makes excuses * Repeats stories
Strengths of a Sanguine The Extrovert | The Talker | The Optimist The Sanguine's Emotions
* Appealing personality * Talkative, Storyteller * Life of the Party * Good sense of humor * Memory for color * Physically holds on to listener * Emotional and demonstrative * Enthusiastic and expressive * Cheerful and bubbling over * Curious * Good on stage * Wide-eyed and innocent * Lives in the present * Changeable disposition * Sincere at heart * Always a child
The Sanguine As A Parent
* Makes Home Fun * Is liked by children's friends * Turns disaster into humor * Is the circus master
The Sanguine At Work
* Volunteers for Jobs * thinks up new activities * Looks great on the Surface * Creative and colorful * Has energy and enthusiasm * Starts in a flashy way * Inspires others to join * charms others to work
The Sanguine As a Friend
* Makes friends easily * Loves People * Thrives on compliments * Seems exciting * envied by others * Doesn't hold grudges * apologizes quickly * Prevents dull moments * Likes spontaneous activities
Weakness of a Melancholy The Introvert | The Thinker | The Pessimist The Melancholy's Emotions
* Remembers the negatives * Moody and depressed * Enjoys being hurt * Has false humility * Off in another world * Low self-image * Has selective hearing * Self-centered * Too introspective * Guilt feelings * Persecution complex * Tends to hypochondria
The Melancholy As A Parent
* Puts goals beyond reach * May discourage children * May be too meticulous * Becomes martyr * Sulks over disagreements * Puts guilt upon children
The Melancholy At Work
* Not people oriented * depressed over imperfections * Chooses difficult work * Hesitant to start projects * Spends to much time planning * Prefers analysis to work * Self-deprecating * Hard to please * Standards often to high * Deep need for approval
The Melancholy As a Friend
* Lives through others * Insecure socially * Withdrawn and remote * critical of others * Holds back affections * Dislikes those in opposition * Suspicious of people * Antagonistic and vengeful * Unforgiving * Full of contradictions * Skeptical of compliments
Strengths of a Melancholy The Introvert | The Thinker | The Pessimist The Melancholy's Emotions
* Deep and thoughtfully * Analytical * Serious and purposeful * Genius prone * Talented and creative * Artistic or musical * Philosophical and poetic * appreciative of beauty * Sensitive to others * Self-sacrificing * Conscientious * Idealistic
The Melancholy As A Parent
* Sets high standards * Wants everything done right * Keeps home in good order * Picks up after children * Sacrifices own will for others * Encourages scholarship and talent
The Melancholy At Work
* Schedule oriented * Perfectionist, high standards * Detail conscious * Persistent and thorough * Orderly and organized * Neat and tidy * Economical * Sees the problems * Finds creative solutions * Needs to finish what he starts * Likes charts, graphs, figures, lists
Weaknesses of a Choleric The Extrovert | The Doer | The Optimist The Choleric's Emotions
* Bossy * Impatient * Quick-tempered * Can't Relax * Too impetuous * Enjoys controversy and arguments * Won't give up when loosing * Comes on too strong * Inflexible * Is not complimentary * Dislikes tears and emotions * Is unsympathetic
The Choleric As A Parent
* Tends to over dominate * Too busy for family * Gives answers too quickly * Impatient with poor performance * Won't let children relax * May send them into depression
The Choleric At Work
* Little tolerance for mistakes * Doesn't analyze details * Bored by trivia * May make rash decisions * May be rude or tactless * Manipulates people * Demanding of others * End justifies the means * Work may become his god * Demands loyalty in the ranks
The Choleric As a Friend
* Tends to use people * Dominates others * Knows everything * Decides for others * Can do everything better * Is to independent * Possessive of friends and mate * Can't say, "I'm Sorry" * May be right, but unpopular
Strengths of a Choleric The Extrovert | The Doer | The Optimist The Choleric's Emotions
* Born leader * Dynamic and active * Compulsive need for change * Must correct wrongs * Strong-willed and decisive * Unemotional * Not easily discouraged * Independent and self sufficient * Exudes confidence * Can run anything
The Choleric As A Parent
* Exerts sound leadership * Establishes Goals * Motivates family to action * Knows the right answer * Organizes household
The Choleric At Work
* Goal oriented * Sees the whole picture * Organizes well * Seeks practical solutions * Moves quickly to action * Delegates work * Insists on production * Makes the goal * Stimulates activity * Thrives on opposition
The Choleric As a Friend
* Has little need for friends * Will work for group activity * Will lead and organize * Is usually right * Excels in emergencies
Weaknesses of a Phlegmatic The Introvert | The Watcher | The Pessimist The Phlegmatic's Emotions
* Unenthusiastic * Fearful and worried * Indecisive * Avoids responsibility * Quiet will of iron * Selfish * To shy and reticent * Too compromising * Self-righteous
The Phlegmatic As A Parent
* Lax on discipline * Doesn't organize home * Takes life to easy
The Phlegmatic At Work
* Not goal oriented * Lacks self motivation * Hard to get moving * Resents being pushed * Lazy and careless * Discourages others * Would rather watch
The Phlegmatic As a Friend
* Dampens enthusiasm * Stays uninvolved * Is not exciting * Indifferent to plans * Judges others * Sarcastic and teasing * Resists change
Strengths of a Phlegmatic The Introvert | The Watcher | The Pessimist The Phlegmatic's Emotions
* Low-key personality * Easygoing and relaxed * Calm, cool and collected * Patient well balanced * Consistent life * Quiet but witty * Sympathetic and kind * Keeps emotions hidden * Happily reconciled to life * All-purpose person
The Phlegmatic As A Parent
* Makes a good parent * Takes time for the children * Is not in a hurry * Can take the good with the bad * Doesn't get upset easily
The Phlegmatic At Work
* Competent and steady * Peaceful and agreeable * Has administrative ability * Mediates problems * Avoids conflicts * Good under pressure * Finds the easy way
The Phlegmatic As a Friend
* Easy to get along with * Pleasant and enjoyable * Inoffensive * Good listener * Dry sense of humor * Enjoys watching people * Has many friends * Has compassion and concern
Characteristics of all four personality types can be found within each of us, but there is almost always one personality type that is dominant. We call this the major personality type.
The Chemistry Profile also identifies your minor or secondary personality type. You exhibit some aspects of this personality type, though not to the same degree as with your major type.
Your major personality type = Negotiator
Your minor personality type = Explorer
You are a NEGOTIATOR/explorer
You are a big thinker. You easily take the large, long view of almost any topic. You are comfortable juggling myriad facts. You tend to synthesize material easily and to think in webs of factors, not straight lines. You are imaginative and enjoy theorizing.
You are also socially savvy. You are good at both talking and listening. And you generally read people's faces, body postures and tone of voice accurately, so you tend to intuitively understand what people want and need.
You are also highly compassionate. You care deeply about others. So you sometimes make personal sacrifices to be a supportive friend or colleague. And you like to work to improve the world.
You enjoy new ideas and novel experiences. You are flexible, affable and open to adventure. And you admire impulsive, spontaneous people, despite your tendency to plan ahead.
You dislike conflict. You seek "win-win" solutions. And with your skill as a negotiator, you adeptly bring peace to the chaotic world around you. You are a warm, insightful and often exciting companion.
E
-Explorer - 31%
N
-Negotiator - 38%
B
-Builder - 22%
D
-Director - 7%
How your personality breaks out
You
Matched with
Compatibility Rating
Explorer - 31% of your personality
Known for high energy, high creativity and spontaneity. Seeks novelty, risk and pleasure. Intellectually curious and not easily swayed by opinion.
Builder - 22% of your personality
Usually very popular. Deep attachment to home and family. Calm demeanor and low anxiety. Often consistent, loyal and protective.
Negotiator - 38% of your personality
Excels at seeing the big picture, long-term planning and consensus building. An intuitive thinker who is flexible, verbal and socially skilled. Imaginative, empathetic and nurturing.
Director - 7% of your personality
Daring, original, direct and inventive. A non-conformist. Skilled at abstract thinking and short-term planning. Often assertive and quite competitive. Tough-minded and efficient.
Dating Tips for Negotiators
In the beginning of a relationship, try not to over think the situation or over—react to minor set backs. If there's chemistry and compassion, it will all work out.
You may be so diplomatic that your potential partner is unclear who you are. Take a chance at being more direct and decisive.
Rather than waiting for the right moment, interrupt now and then with some of your imaginative and broad—minded ideas; it can lead to sparkling, involved conversation and close companionship.
Let a potential partner know your boundaries, needs and hopes. This way he or she will be able to act accordingly to deepen the bond.
Talking is only one form of intimacy. Try doing something side by side with him or her, particularly something new and collaborative.
