Depression is a blackhole in my heart. It spends and churns it’s way through me like a tornado, ripping through the landscape. It sucks out joy. It suck’s pieces off of my famiy member’s flesh and gobbles it up. It destroys relationships with others, starting out small and growing to the intensity of an F5 until there is nothing left. I can direct it away from them sometimes, but since it is part of my heart, I must go too. It takes everything. It’s appetite is endless. It takes my time - I am now and old man. It takes my hopes – it does not stop, just gets bigger. It takes my work – I must say no to projects that were once easy. It takes my strength – I am so weary of this fight. The only other way to protect anyone, is the wall. The blackhole cannot pass the wall. The wall is protection. The wall keeps them safe. But the wall is loneliness. I cannot live long by the wall. The ground is lifeless by the wall. It is desert. Nothing grows there. There are no springs, no wells, no flowers, no grass, no living thing. Nothing but desert and the dry hot wind, blowing the brutal sand that stings, and rips at my face and heart until I am left on my knees, bleeding and moaning in agony.

Bill Spoonts