I don't intend for anyone to be your shadows.

But somehow you had set the benchmarks, the measurements of standards for all future potentials.

I am so hesitant about liking someone else, so afraid that I would confuse what I see in them with what I saw in you.

So afraid of getting myself hurt and so tired of hurting others in the process.

The path of true love never did run smooth.

Now I find it so hard to even feel happy when I like someone else. The sense of dread just runs deep in me.

There's always the promise which I made to you reminding me constantly of what's really worth.

There's always the rememberance that you had always just been there, supporting me to go on even though my world had crashed.

Things changed, even the feelings did.

I learnt the hard way to never let it get that far. My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't whole to start with. I no longer stray too far from the sidewalk. I play on the safe side so that I don't get hurt. I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me. And then I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing. I try my hardest to forget everything. I don't know how to let anyone else in. I'm ashamed of my life cuz it's empty. Because of you, I am afraid.

PpD