I do feel depressed.

Life does get shity when you can't find a job due to various reasons.

I want to stop pretending that I am strong and able to handle all this on my own when in reality I am dreading it and it's stressing me up big time.

I wished I never had scoliosis, never had to put up with those treatments that doesn't even stop the pain. Never had to put up with the therapy that interferes with job searching and everything.

It's tough always having to come up with some excuses when his family members ask if I am working today.

I hate this kind of life because the control has been taken away from me.

My mum doesn't want me to work until a proper diagnosis is done. IE X rays and everything so that she can have a peace of mind.

I told her my desire to work and she didn't want me to for fear of worsening my condition. How can I tell her about my own personal problems?

I hate it when I have to worry about day to day living.
It becomes a drag and I long to break free.

A part of me desires the freedom I had in the past when I was financially secured.

Now things are just spiralling downwards.