Went out today.

Was rushing from place to place.

Firstly met up with some of my poly mates.. to celebrate Mx's birthday.

Then Serene surprised me when she said I was wearing the Havanas slippers which she had designed.

I was actually contemplating between 2 designs.. the current one and another pink one.

And who knows.. that our dear beloved Serene had designed both!

Then the girls were giving me their valuable feedback on my clothing.

Yiping suggested that i should do both import and export.

But what I want... is to build a brand... a name of my own.

I think it's out of the question right now to do merchandising, given my current health condition.

It seems that everyone's changed so much.

From the time we used to spend in school with unbranded items... till now where I can see my friends sharing to buy a Aldo gift for her.

And then she appeared with a Coach bag.

I'm not envious or jealous... but I do ask myself... what have I achieved in this past year?

One year. It can mean a whole lot of difference... financially.

I do feel the unspoken pressure due to the fact that on the appearance I'm still pretty much the same.

No extravagant spending, no shopping whenever I feel like it, no splurging.

No nicely coloured hair, no new clothes, no shoes, no bags, no hanging out with friends whenever I feel like it, no clubbing, no more late night movies, no more dinning at nice places.

Everything that I do now, must have a purpose.

I decided to make the sacrifices despite knowing that I'll have to forgo a lot of things of my life and social circle at this current point of time and instead focus on what's needed to be done.

I didn't tell him why I didn't join my friends for the ktv.
I didn't tell him where the capital to restart his business came from.

I too dream of having my own label one day.
It's just that sometimes... the day seems very distant to me.

I just hope that he will learn how to treasure all these chances he had.
As I know that nothing ever comes easy. In my life.. which is.

I met up with X just now.

She's much better these days.
At least results are starting to show, though it may be slow.
I'm just glad.
I understand what's she's going through, and I hope that she will see the brighter side of life.

In a lot of ways... the guys at GG ask me all the time, why do I keep trying to help?

Am I her good friend?
No, I don't think so. I don't know her well. She's someone whom I only got to know recently. But I see her pain and humanly, I want to try to relieve her from her pain.

They don't understand.

Because they don't think like Cat... who shares the same sentiments as me.

That no one else should suffer and if she can stop the pain, she would gladly pay the price for it.

I don't know where to stop helping.
I don't know when to stop helping.

I can't stop now since I've already decided to make the needed sacrifices.

I was on my way back home when I had an asthma attack.

For a moment, the word death appeared before my eyes.

I was reminded of the dream I had before I woke up today.

A dream of death and suffering.
I don't understand why is the oppression happening. Maybe I'm just anxious about an uncertain future. Perhaps I'm stressed out.

The thought of going back to work in the retail line keeps popping up my mind these days when I went with Ivan for interview. I do like the retail scene. It's creative and fun, interesting really... It keeps you updated on the latest market trend.

But I think I have to trash that idea for now.

Even walking around can give me an asthma attack.

I wonder where is my health going.

=====================================

Sometimes when I look at Z

I do in a certain way identify with Z's pain.

The silent sacrifices that one has to make is something which the receiving party will not be able to understand.

Not many will.

Not many will walk this path either.

I wouldn't advise anyone to do so... it costs a lot.


PpD